My heart sank
as I read the news report; broken windows, damaged walls and mirrors, paintings
taken off the walls and damaged. I felt
sick as I thought of someone walking the halls and hurting the place I have
come to know so well and love so dearly…on Christmas Eve of all days. I started to wonder, when I go to serve on
Saturday, which paintings would gone, never to brighten the halls and bring
cheer again. The more I thought about
it, the more heartbroken I felt. I saw
my dad and he gave me a big hug. He then
said with faith, “It doesn’t matter.
Satan can do whatever he wants, it still won’t stop the work of the
temple.” His words brought me back to an experience I had years ago.
I was at BYUI and took advantage of
an amazing deal to see some of the church history sites. It was a whirlwind trip, but we had a chance
to spend some quality time in Nauvoo.
That is such a special place! I loved the peaceful feeling I had. I felt like I was home. I had a delightful time walking around the
houses and then headed up to a little street that had several little
shops. I was enjoying myself a lot when
I saw a little white church across the street.
Anti-Mormon paraphernalia was plastered all over the windows. I was ticked. How dare they? They had no business coming
into our town and spreading those kinds of lies! What if a new member came to
feel the spirit and was led away by that? I was still bugged as I went to the
fireside that night at the Joseph Smith Center.
The fireside talk was amazing. I
felt the Spirit strongly. At one point, the speaker talked about the Saints
leaving Nauvoo and he said something that I’ve never forgotten. “When
the mob killed Joseph Smith, God was not up in Heaven saying ‘Oh no, what do I
do now?!’ When the Saints were driven from Nauvoo, God was not saying ‘Well,
now we’re finished!’ Brigham Young turned and looked on their beloved city with
everything they had worked so hard for being destroyed and he prophesied that they
would back.” The speaker leaned forward with conviction and said powerfully, “We’re
back.” Suddenly it was like a shot of electricity went through me and I
realized that the little church down the lane could do whatever it wanted,
because it didn’t matter. It was good for me to look back on that experience
after hearing about the vandalism at the temple. My dad was right, in the long run, the vandalism
doesn’t matter one bit.
Today I was thinking about the “Light
of the World” prompt for the day, to list some of the things the Savior has
done for me. Honestly speaking, I’ve
been struggling with anxiety lately, worrying about the future and about other
problems. One particular anxiety demon I
have always struggled with, is being afraid that I have disappointed or angered
the people I love, and that they are going to walk away from me. That has really been a struggle for me
lately. I thought about today how anxiety
and depression are kind of like a vandal.
They break in and cause havoc, taking the beautiful pictures of your
life and damaging or destroying them. It’s
easy to feel invaded. It’s easy to give into the negativity and to believe the
lies that anxiety paints. But just like
the early saints, I know that God has a plan for me. I know that he is very
much aware of me. I know that because of
Jesus Christ, it will be okay in the end, and if it’s not okay, then it’s not
end. I know that just as workers lovingly
fixed windows and walls in the temple, and artists will lovingly paint more pictures,
the Savior works within me, to repair damaged thoughts and a hurting
heart. I know he will use beautiful
memories and loving moments with dear ones to paint more beautiful pictures for
me to hang on the walls of my heart and mind.
The Savior heals. I am so
grateful for all that he has done for me.
Merry Christmas 2019!
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