I had a job interview a week ago
Friday at an eye doctor’s office. It’s a
lovely office with gold-colored décor and a large patch of daisies
outside. The doctors and the staff are
very friendly. The interviewer was very
friendly and it all started out well.
She asked me what I like to do and I told her how I love to bake. I told her about how I would bake for all the
birthdays and holidays at the Scout office.
I started to talk about the “Muffin Monday” tradition I created…and then
I started to cry.
Muffin Mondays—Oh I loved them. I
loved taking out my muffin tins every Sunday evening. I loved searching for new recipes. The last few months I adapted recipes my own
way and it was always great fun to choose my recipe for the week and what
embellishments I wanted to add. I loved
the smells of blueberry, cinnamon, lemon or pumpkin that filled the air every
Monday morning. I loved chatting with my
friends as we came into the kitchen to get our muffin hot out of the oven.
Thankfully, my voice just quivered a
bit as I told the interviewer and then I recovered myself. I don’t know if she even noticed as I had to
wear a mask why we talked. The rest of the interview went well and then she
introduced me the staff and told me that she would be calling people back for
second interviews the next week. I told
her that I would love to work with them at their office and looked forward to
hearing from her. And then I went out
and got in my car, and started to cry again.
This is just tough. I miss my
job. I miss my friends. And, (this is classic “me”) I want what I
know. I want what is comfortable and
familiar. And though I can’t have my job
back, as I drove around after that, I thought about the constants amidst so
much change.
I thought back to five years ago,
when I was at my job at the call center.
While I had good friends and enjoyed them, I was so stressed out at my
job, I hadn’t slept through the night in over a year. I was having other health problems due to
stress and dreaded going to work every day.
I prayed desperately for relief in a new job and direction as to where
to go next. I didn’t think I could
really do anything but market research. From my limited vision, the world didn’t
hold the possibilities it once did.
I hoped there was a job out there
waiting for me that would help me feel fulfilled again, like I was contributing
something meaningful. I hoped there was
a job where people would be honest and open with me again, and wouldn’t
question my motives, where I could trust and be trusted. I had no idea that God was preparing just such
a job at the time. I had no idea that it
would also come in a beautiful office with large windows and a river flowing
right outside. I had no idea that the
job would bring me one of my best friends, and several surrogate “big brothers”
to watch out for me. I had no idea that
such a job even existed where I would be free to say “Merry Christmas” as much
as I wanted during the Christmas season, where I could put a picture of the
Savior up on my desk, and where every staff meeting would begin with prayer. I had no idea that was what God was preparing
for me, and all the time…it was right across the street.
It was a wonderful four years, but
things didn’t last as long as I hoped they would and I am once again praying
and looking for another job. I know,
that God is preparing a place for me, somewhere I need to be for me to grow and
somewhere I will be needed. I have no
idea what things will be in store, blessings I didn’t know were even possible.
I know there will be tough times, just like there was in the scout office and
at every other job…ever. But I know there will be wonderful times. There will be friendships that will bless my
life forever. There will be happy
memories and good times. I know that because I trust Heavenly Father. I also know that because I trust myself. In times of change and uncertainty, I can be a constant. I know it may take a while, but the magic
will happen again. I spent probably
about the first six months at the scout office wondering what in the world I
had gotten myself into, but gradually the magic happened, and I felt like I was
home. Maybe it won’t be “Muffin Mondays”
or “District Executive Appreciation Day” but there will be other traditions,
other memories to be made. Just knowing
that, helps to face my fears of the unknown, but gradually let go of the pain
of losing my job and let my heart just be filled with good memories.
I didn’t get called back to the
doctor’s office for a second interview.
I was disappointed, but am trying to learn from the experience on what I can do better
next time. I know that God is aware of
us. I know he is in the details of our
lives and though we at times may not have a plan, he ALWAYS does. Even though
it is hard some days, I trust him and know the future is bright!
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