It was
a bright April afternoon as I left work and headed over to the American West
Heritage Center, an outdoor cultural center in Logan and probably my favorite
place in Cache Valley. It had been a
frustrating day at work and I was looking forward to the fun of Baby Animal
Days, a yearly event at the center although this was my very first time. They had been advertising the big attraction,
baby bears from Yellowstone for weeks, and my animal-loving heart was very
excited to see them. A short time later,
I was in a very, very, long line to see the bears and the exhibit was closing
soon. It was the last day. My frustration
grew as I reached the point in the line outside the building where I thought
the crowd was going in. I was wrong, the
line still wrapped around to the other side of the building. At that point I began to steel myself for a
disappointment. “You’re going to get up
to the door and that’s when they’re going to close down.” I said to myself
“Might as well just leave now. Doesn’t
matter any way.” I almost did turn around and walk away. Better to soothe my disappointment with some
kettle corn rather than to stay in the dumb line and get turned away at the
last minute. But…I stayed in the line, grumbling
to myself as I kept slowly moving. Then
I got to the door. It was 5:00, closing
time, but the door stayed open. I walked
in the room and there was still a line snaking around the big room, where the
bears were on the other side. “At least
I’ll get to catch a glimpse” I thought to myself, certain those of us in the
room would be asked to leave at any minute.
But…I was wrong again. I got to
the end of the line and got to see the baby bears. One was curled up asleep on his caretaker’s
lap (ask me how much I would love that job!) Another was standing on his hind
legs peering over the pen as if he was as curious about me as I was him. It was every bit as magical as I hoped it
would be. I was so glad that I had
stayed in line. As I was walking back to
my car the Spirit whispered a message of hope that was as sweet as the spring
evening: “Wonderful things still happen.”
It was a
simple little thing, an inner child wish to see some baby bears. However, the lesson was very important for my
sometimes too cynical heart. Far too
often I go into a situation in life expecting the worst. This past November I applied for a job that I
really wanted. I did my best to get the
job and yet inside there was that voice of cynicism again saying “Don’t get too
excited. It won’t work out. The more you get your hopes the more you’ll
be disappointed.” During those moments I would think about that afternoon with
the bears and the lesson I learned that day.
As I waited for news, I realized that as important as it was to me to
get the job, it was more important for me to believe that I could. In the end I didn’t get the job and yes I was
very disappointed. But I had a
choice. My inner cynic could add that to
its arsenal for the next time I hoped for something or I could believe that for
whatever reason that job was not the best thing for me at the time but there is
something wonderful around the corner. That is a choice I have to make all the
time, to believe that wonderful things can still happen.
President Gordon B. Hinckley said “Don’t worry! It isn’t as
bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out in the end. Put your trust
in God and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will
not forsake us.” I know that is
true. I still battle with that inner cynic. I still have to make a choice, especially
when things don’t work out the way that I had hoped. I choose to believe that Heavenly Father
loves me and knows what is best, just like the my sophomore year of high school
when my parents talked to us about moving and I prayed for months on end that
we would be able to stay. But we didn’t, we left Riverton and moved to another
town…a town named La Grande, Oregon.
During those months of prayers and pleading I had no idea of the
wonderful things that awaited me around the corner. I can’t imagine my life without that move I
dreaded for so long.
I am so grateful for this beautiful gift called life. Yes there are disappointments: long lines,
closed exhibits, the job that got away, and a certain life event that hasn’t
happened yet. But there are also the
moments where the exhibit stays open a little longer and you get to look into
the little curious bear’s eyes. I know that if I keep looking and doing all
that I need to do, the right job for me will come along. I know that God keeps his promises and that
as I prepare myself to be kind of wife I want to be that marriage will come
when the time is right. I choose to not give into the inner cynic. I choose to
believe that “In the end it will be okay, and if it’s not okay, then it’s not
the end!” And…I choose to believe that along the way to “the end” many
wonderful things will still happen!
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